I saw a bird. It was pecking wood. It had spots. It was great...

It was great spotting that great spotted woodpecker

Seriously though bruv, do you got any Acetaminophen, Aspirin, Codeine or Ibuprofen?...

You thought that your spotted woodpecker was good, but mine's greater...

Keep your pecker up old boy, there's a good chap...

Great spotted woodpecker Dendrocopos major sgt major sir