Low level eumelanin...

A blind man walked into a bar one night. One of the patrons at the bar saw him and helped him get to a barstool and get a drink, After a few minutes, the blind man leaned over to his new friend and said, “I just heard the world’s best blonde joke, Would you like to hear it?”

The other man said, “Friend, before you say another word, there’s something you need to know.”

“What’s that?” the blind man asked.

“There are five people besides you in this bar. The bartender is blonde. The bouncer is blonde. There are two woman sitting at the end of the bar. One is an off-duty police officer, and the other is a Marine Corps gunnery sergeant, and they’re both blonde. I’m six-foot-four, two hundred and sixty pounds, and I’ve got a third degree black belt in karate, and I’m blonde. “So,” the man concluded, “Are you sure you really want to tell that joke?”

The blind man thought about it for a minute and said, “No, not if I’m going to have to explain it five times.”

Let's play a game of Simian says...

Simian says , “jump up and down”

Simian says, “climb a tree”

O.k… Simian says , “eat a banana”

And…Simian says, “make a loud noise”

Now, throw your feces against the wall…

Ahh…Simian didn’t say…


Duh. Duh duh duh. Duh duh duh. Duh duh duuuuuuh...

Risin’ up, back on the street. Did my time, took my chances

Went the distance, now I’m back on my feet. Just a man and his will to survive

So many times, it happens too fast. You trade your passion for glory

Don’t lose your grip on the dreams of the past. You must fight just to keep them alive

Its the eye of the tiger, its the thrill of the fight. Risin’ up to the challenge of our rival

And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night. And he’s watching’ us all with the eye of the tiger…

Pretty Bloomin' Pretty...

Let’s take a look at the details…

Source material: Les Fleurs - The Iris. Alphonse mucha (1898)

Woods used: Maple, Yew, Purple Heart, Ovangkol, Lacewood, Beli, Padauk, Ebony, Mahogany

Size: 250x 140x 12mm

Number of pieces: 282

Time to make: 40 hours

Number of fingers to suffer a painful jewellers saw laceration: 1

Website refreshed, third eye squeegeed...

Over the last few weeks I have been busy improving the 'inlays' sections on the website while catching up on the 130 episodes of the waking up podcast questioning whether I was in fact exercising my free will to do that or if indeed free will actually exists at all. At some point I found myself to be feeling just a little bit more racist, increasingly pessimistic about human nature, becoming more hostile to all forms of religious belief and increasingly steadfast in my position as an antinatalist...Or maybe just that the subjective experience of self is merely an illusion, simply emergent from the physical complexity of my brain...well, something like that anyway

Waking-Up-wide.jpg

Feline. Recline...

Cats like Felix like Felix.

But is it, Cats like Felix (a cat named Felix) like Felix (the cat food with the brand name of Felix, presumably to eat but maybe just due to a deep feline appreciation of their advertising, competitive pricing and packaging design)... Or, is it, Cats like Felix (the cat food) like Felix (the cat does)...?

Cat headstock inlay

Peek-a-boo...

Although popular with the public. Veronica Lake had a complex personality and acquired a reputation for being difficult to work with. Eddie Bracken, her co-star in Star Spangled Rhythm, was quoted as saying, "She was known as 'The Bitch' and she deserved the title." During the filming of The Blue Dahlia screenwriter Raymond Chandler referred to her as "Moronica Lake."

After her third divorce, Lake drifted between cheap hotels in New York City, and was arrested several times for public drunkenness and disorderly conduct. In June 1973 Lake visited a local doctor, complaining of stomach pains. She was discovered to have cirrhosis of the liver as a result of her years of drinking. On July 7th she died of acute hepatitis and acute kidney injury....

Around the year 2016 she became my muse

Veronica Lake Square 2 (x2)

Oh yes Katie, I'm very pleased with those colours...

Yes, and those lovely brown eyes there, with the little reflection detail, absolutely splendid. And I think that the background works just beautifully, very warm and rich, with that wonderful golden, almost honey colour nestled up there against the dark...against the...against the dark...um...the black there. The black. Black. Black. BLACK. Black, like the pain of death...The infinite darkness. Black...The futility of life. Black. BLACK. Black, like my soul...Torturous screaming nightmares, we crawl on our knees towards doom...

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